I recently finished reading the book How Children Succeed (highly recommend it) and took a few core points away from it. The point I want to talk about today is that of character, a term used in the book to explain common traits that successful children have.

Traditionally we think of the same metrics of success for a child. IQ, test scores, grades are some of the most common. These are all things we can “measure” easily and can be ranked on both a micro level (within the classroom) and on a macro level (across the country or the world). The problem with this methodology? These may determine success within the academic environment, but do they really matter when it comes to success in life?

The author, Paul Tough, argues no (for the most part). What matters equally, or more, is character, a set of traits that are difficult to measure - but make us who we are. This quote from Paul sums it up nicely:

“Absolutely, cognitive skill and IQ make a big difference; vocabulary matters. But the scientists, the economists and neuroscientists and psychologists who I’ve been studying and writing about are really challenging the idea that IQ, that standardized test scores, that those are the most important things in a child’s success. I think there’s lots of evidence out there now that says that these other strengths, these character strengths, these noncognitive skills, are at least as important in a child’s success and quite possibly more important.”

I want to spend a lot more time talking about the psychology & neuroscience in another post, but I want to take this post to dive into three of the most important character “traits” and how they affect people. Since Sokanu is a human development platform focused on career discovery, many of these traits have a direct influence on the way we approach development. The three core traits I want to focus on are grit, self-control and curiosity.

Grit:

In my opinion, the most important character trait a human can possess. Grit is exactly what it sounds like - a will to succeed. Persistence in the face of adversity. Running over roadblocks.

The biggest negative to achieving high grades and “success” in academia is that you don’t “learn” how to fail. You don’t know what it is like to go around an obstacle. So the first time something doesn’t go your way, you are unsure of what to do. This is why you see so many “smart” students never reach their full potential in the “real world”.

I’m a big fan of this definition in Wikipedia:

Grit in psychology is a positive, non-cognitive trait, based on an individual’s passion for a particular long-term goal or endstate coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective. This perseverance of effort promotes the overcoming of obstacles or challenges that lie within a gritty individual’s path to accomplishment and serves as a driving force in achievement realization. Commonly associated concepts within the field of psychology include “perseverance,” “hardiness,” “resilience,” “ambition,” “need for achievement” and conscientiousness.

Self-Control:

The way I like to think of this is as a way to delay gratification or satisfaction. Most people (especially in this generation) crave instant gratification. We want apps to download in seconds, songs to stream instantly (for free of course) and responses to be sent right away. Imagine the shock then when people realize that success takes years of hard work.

This character trait is incredibly important because it goes hand in hand with grit. Understanding that you may have to delay certain things in order to have a long term gain is incredibly difficult for people. It is the difference between short and long term thinking. Would you rather have $200,000 today or double your money, every day for a month, starting at $0.01?

There is a great quote about entrepreneurship that I believe applies to self-control really nicely.

Curiosity:

An obvious one, but it is constantly shocking how many people lack this. Having a genuine curiosity about the state of the world opens up your mind in more ways than you know. The neural pathways created or activated during this process is incredible. Reading books, traveling to new places and talking to people with a different perspective all alter the way you think about things.

Children having natural curiosity is something we should try and keep throughout life. Many kids lose this sense once they think it is “uncool” to learn. It should always be your goal to be curious. Wonder about how things are made, cultures are formed and how the world works in general.

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Combined with the two traits above, curiosity completes what I believe are the three most important character traits for building successful people. There are many more I’d like to talk about in our next post. The concept of teaching character vs traditional “success” metrics is an extremely important one. We should all be spending more time building these traits in people we know and love - and understanding how early development of this extrapolates over an entire lifetime. It literally affects every aspect of your life. That is why character is so important.