Sokanu: The Blog

I've recently had a number of conversations with entrepreneurs or young overachievers who are having a "quarter-life crisis". Instead of having the problem that Sokanu is trying to solve (what am I supposed to do with my life?) these individuals have a different problem. They are more concerned with: "I should be further ahead at this point in my life".

This is the equivalent to a "first world problem" when it comes to careers. These people are incredibly brilliant, able to do anything, and yet are stalled. They are constantly questioning what the best path is for them to take in order to get the "furthest ahead". Where does their problem come from? The short answer is the media.

Magazines like Inc, Fast Company, Forbes (check out this month's cover - the world's youngest VC - congrats Ernestine!) are constantly promoting the youngest, fastest moving people. Do you have a degree at 23? Well there are people who got their degree before they were 20. Did you start a company when you were 16? 13 year olds are developing iPhone apps. When did you raise VC money? Anytime after 19 and you aren't that young anymore.

Sound ridiculous? It is. The problem is that many of these young achievers know each other. And when you have a friend who is the same age as you getting way further "ahead" according to your standards, you begin to question your own ability. 

So who do we blame, and how do we fix this problem? While it seems like a very small problem (it only applies to a small subset of people) the thoughts behind it can apply to anyone. Let's start by dissecting the problem.

Make Your Measuring Stick Malleable

 Most people are under the impression that faster is better. I am most certainly in this camp. The faster you build something, the better you must be at it, right? The problem is that the word "fast" is relative, just like anything else in life. Same with "success". So why on earth are you comparing yourself to someone else's life when their "fast" might be different than yours? What success is for one person (graduating from college), might be totally different than success for another person (selling a company for one billion dollars). 

Think about how you were raised. Many of the people that have achieved amazing things at an early age have already been doing their craft for 10 years. Have you? Did your parents push you towards something before you could walk? Were you homeschooled so that you could bypass the traditional educational system? Are your parents succesful entrepreneurs? No? Then you need to adjust your measuring stick a bit. 

Every person on this planet has a different perspective and a set of biases that carries them throughout their life. If we accept that everyone is unique, then you need to stop comparing yourself to someone else's path. Your path is your path. You can use others as inspiration, but not as a "I should be here" measurement.

Stop Sprinting, Start Training

Not everything that is faster is better. This is hard for me to accept, but it's true. A simple example. Who makes more money per year? A hedge fund or Berkshire Hathaway? Obviously hedge funds, seeing as they have nearly unlimited upside potential. However, last time I checked, Warren Buffett is the most successful trader/wealth generator of our time. Why?

Warren has been training his mind for an incredibly long time. Was he a billionaire at age 30? No - but he was doing fine. Was he the richest person in the world at age 40? No. Each and every day he would accumulate more knowledge, get smarter than the guy next to him. Now, banks go to him first when they want investment. Did you notice what happened to Bank of America when he invested last week? His "vote of confidence" made the stock go up more than 10%.

Everyone I know (myself included) is always trying to sprint. We are trying to blow by the people next to us, get further ahead, just to make ourselves feel better. We think if we can grow faster than everyone else, we must be successful. Being in magazines, on TV and written about makes us successful, right?

Go back to the measuring stick. Is this important to you? Do you need the external recognition in your life? Are other people's opinions important to you? Do you want to be perceived as an "expert"?

Start training (whatever it may be; your mind, your sport, your instrument) and focus intently on that. Success will follow.

Marathons Take A Long Time, And Sometimes You Throw Up

I have a friend who just competed in an Iron Man. He has been training intently for a while, is in incredible shape, and knows more about the sport than 99.9% of people. Did he finish the race? Absolutely. Did he throw up? Yep. Was he hurting? Majorly - it was way harder than he thought.

This applies to life. Marathons take a long time to complete, and sometimes we just want to get to the finish line. Imagine if we knew how tough everything was before we started it! We would never start! 

Life is a long term game, start playing like it. It doesn't mean that you can't succeed in the short term, it just means that you can't always compare yourself to people who are the first mile of their life. They still have 25.2 miles to go.

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In conclusion:

• What is success to you? Figure that out (it's not easy, it comes down to the core of who you are)
• Adjust your measuring stick to match that success
• Take into account your biases and perspective on the world
• Stop looking at other people's measuring sticks, it doesn't apply to you.
• Play life like a long term game,
• Put your head down and start training
• Celebrate the short-term successes in life (the sprints) while constantly reminding yourself you have many miles to go

Always remember, this is your life. You need to make yourself happy, not anyone else.