Sokanu: The Blog

This is a guest post by Daniel Wong. 

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The Confusion About Happiness 

Do you want to be happy or “not unhappy”? These might sound like synonyms, but they’re really not. The difference between happiness and “not unhappiness” is really the difference between frustration and fulfillment.

All of us want to find happiness in our career, health, relationships and finances. If we’re not careful, however, we’ll discover how not to be unhappy in these areas, but we won’t learn how to find real happiness.

Take your career, for example. The factors that make you a “not unhappy” employee are very distinct from the factors that make you a happy employee.

Here are some "not unhappy" factors: a comfortable office chair, pleasant co-workers, a reasonable boss. Without these things, there’s no doubt that you'll be unhappy. For example, I can’t imagine how unbearable it would be if you had a horrible working relationship with your direct superior. 

But just because all the “not unhappy” factors are in place doesn’t guarantee that you'll be happy. No one goes to work thinking, "I'm SO happy that I get to spend eight hours sitting in my super comfortable chair today!"

It’s evident that being extremely “not unhappy” doesn’t result in you being happy. As an employee, you need “happy” factors in order to be happy. Here are a few of them: the belief that your work makes a real difference, the feeling that you're part of something greater than yourself, the fact that your work is appreciated.

The Happy Employee

It puzzles me that, in the business world, a vast majority of incentive schemes are geared toward making employees "not unhappy." These schemes are often related to pay, benefits and privileges. Many companies think that enabling their employees to be as “not unhappy” as possible is the key to building a happy and motivated workforce. 

Don’t get me wrong; higher salaries, pleasant working environments and other “not unhappy” factors are important, but companies should focus on “happy” factors if they want their employees to be engaged and productive. 

Can you imagine an employee who finds deep meaning and purpose in her work not giving her best for the company every single day?

As you’ve probably already realized, finding happiness in your career is a challenging task. But this quest becomes much simpler when you understand which factors—to you, personally—fall in the “not unhappy” category, and which factors fall in the “happy” category.

To help you in this process of discovering a career you love, I invite you to answer the questions below. 

1. If you’re currently working, what factors prevent you from quitting? If you’re not currently working, what factors are important to you in a career? Your answers can also be based on your previous work or internship experiences. List your top 15 factors.
2. Of these 15 factors, which ones give you a sense of comfort and peace of mind, but not fulfillment? These are some of your “not unhappy” factors.
3. Which aspects of your job frustrate you? These are probably areas where certain “not unhappy” factors are absent. From this list, derive the “not unhappy” factors that matter to you. 
4. Based on Steps 2 and 3, you now have a combined list of your “not unhappy” factors. 
5. Of the 15 factors you listed in Step 1, which ones give you a sense of excitement, enthusiasm and satisfaction? Which ones thrill your soul? It might be helpful for you to think of a few specific work tasks or projects. The factors you choose are your “happy” ones. 
6. Rank order your “not unhappy” factors based on how they will likely influence your levels of long-term job satisfaction. 
7. Repeat Step 6 for your “happy” factors. 
8. Looking at the lists you created in Steps 6 and 7, do you think they accurately represent what matters to you in your career?

All of us have blind spots, so you might miss out some factors. But I trust that this exercise has given you new insight into what you’re looking for in an ideal career. Keep in mind that, in general, “happy” factors are a lot harder to come by than “not unhappy” ones. No job is perfect, so seek to maximize your “happy” factors while setting reasonable standards for your “not unhappy” ones.

Is The Aim Of Life To Be Happy?

Despite all of this talk about happiness, you’d probably agree with me that the ultimate aim of life isn't merely to be happy. Developing traits such as kindness, courage, generosity, patience, integrity and commitment is more important than being happy. But in order to acquire those traits, you’ll inevitably need to go through moments of unhappiness.

If given the choice, however, between being happy and unhappy, all of us would choose to be happy. Since that's the case, it’s vital that we not confuse what makes us "not unhappy" with what makes us happy. 

This applies to your career—and also to every other area of your life. Don’t settle for “not unhappiness” when happiness is what you really want.

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Daniel Wong is passionate about helping young adults to maximize their education, career and life. You can read his blog at Living Large and find him on Twitter.